Friday Blues Funny - Different Types of Music

I guess the blues version would be, "Woke up this morning and saw a flower". Or something like that, LOL.

Friday Funny: Has anybody seen my little red rooster?

Friday Funny: Geology Question

Friday blues Funny - Calhoun Tubbs

This is an old one, but it still makes me laugh.

Calhoun Tubbs



According to Wikipedia; Calhoun Tubbs David Alan Grier portrays an old bluesman whose songs invariably insult or otherwise offend his audience. Catchphrase: "Wrote a song about it. Like to hear it? Here it go!" "Thank you very much!" His catchphrase was also used as the intro to En Vogue's "Free Your Mind". He also always strums the same bar of blues and ends his little songs with "Ahhhhahaha"

How To Sing The Blues: An Old Joke

I have seen this floating around on the internet for some time now, and have even recieved it in my emial inbox a couple of times. It is an old joke and a good one too. I hope it makes you laugh.

How To Sing the Blues

1. Most Blues begin "woke up this morning."

2. "I got a good woman" is a bad way to begin the Blues, unless you stick something nasty in right away: I got a good woman-with the meanest face in town.

3. Blues are simple. After you have the first line right, repeat it. Then find something that rhymes. Sort of.

I got a good woman-with the meanest face in town.
I got a good woman-with the meanest face in town.
She got teeth like Condoleeza Rice and she weighs 500 pounds.

4. The Blues are not about limitless choice. You stuck in a ditch, you stuck in a ditch; ain't no way out.

5. Blues cars are Chevies, Cadillacs and broken-down trucks. Other acceptable Blues transportation modes include Greyhound buses and southbound trains. Walkin' plays a major part in the Blues lifestyle. So does fixin' to die. Blues don't travel in Volvos, BMWs, or SUVs. Jet aircraft and state-sponsored motor pools ain't even in the running.

6. Adults sing the Blues. Teenagers can't sing the Blues. They ain't fixin' to die yet. In the Blues, "adulthood" means old enough to get the electric chair when you shoot that man in Memphis.

7. You can have the Blues in New York City, but not in Brooklyn or Queens. Hard times in Vermont, Tucson, or North Dakota are just depression. The best places to have the Blues are still Chicago, St. Louis, Kansas City and New Orleans. You cannot have the blues in any place that don't get rain.

8. A man with male pattern baldness ain't the blues. A woman with male pattern baldness is. Breaking your leg while skiing is not the blues. Breaking your leg when your broken-down pickup truck rolled over on it is.

9. The following colors do not belong in the Blues: violet, beige, mauve (unless you're truly desperate for a rhyme).

9. You can't have the Blues in an office or a shopping mall. The lighting is just plain wrong. Go outside to the parking lot or sit by the dumpster.

10. Good places to have the Blues: the highway, a jailhouse, an empty bed, the bottom of a whiskey glass. Bad places to have the Blues: ashrams, gallery openings, weekends in the Hamptons, golf courses, Tiffany's, and Ivy
League institutions.

11. No one will believe it's the Blues if you wear a suit, unless you happen to be an old black man-and it's an old black suit.

12. Do you have the right to sing the Blues?

Answer "Yes" if:

a. your first name is a southern state-like Georgia
b. you're blind
c. you shot a man in Memphis.
d. you can't be satisfied.
e. you're older than dirt

Answer "No" if:

a. you once were blind but now can see.
b. you're deaf
c. the man in Memphis lived.
d. you have a trust fund or an IRA.
e. you have all your teeth
f. you were once blind but now can see

13. Blues is not about color, it's about bad luck. Tiger Woods cannot sing the blues; Gary Coleman could. Ugly old white people got a leg up on the blues. Julio Iglesias and Barbra Streisand will never sing the Blues.

14. If you ask for water and baby gives you gasoline, it's the Blues. Other acceptable Blues beverages are: wine, whiskey, muddy water, beer, black coffee.

Blues beverages are NOT: mixed drinks, kosher wine, sparkling water, Snapple, Starbucks Frappuccino, or Slim Fast. Although Rubber Biscuits and the Wish Sandwich are famous blues snacks, better stick to common blues grub
like Greasy Bar-b-que, Fatback and beans, and Government cheeze.

Blues food is never: Club sandwich, Sushi, or Crème brule.

15. If it occurs in a cheap motel or a shotgun shack, it's a Blues death. Stabbed in the back by a jealous lover is a Blues death. So is substance abuse, the electric chair, or being denied treatment in an emergency room. It is not a Blues death to die during liposuction or from tennis elbow.

16. Excellent names for female Blues singers: Sadie, Big Momma, Bessie, or Fat River Dumpling. Excellent names for male Blues singers: Willie, Joe, Little Willie, Lightning, or Big Willie.

Singers with names like Muffy, Sierra, Auburn, Alexis, Gwenyth, Sequoiz, Brittany or Rainbow are not permitted to sing the Blues, no matter how many men they shoot in Memphis.

17. The Build Your Own Blues Singer Name Starter Kit:

a. Name of physical infirmity (Blind, Cripple, Lame, Asthmatic)
b. First name (from above lists) or name of fruit (Lemon, Lime, Kiwi)
c. Last name of a U. S. president (Jefferson, Johnson, Fillmore, etc.)

Examples: Blind Lime Jefferson, Cripple Kiwi Fillmore, etc. (Okay, maybe not "Kiwi".)

18. I don't care how tragic your life; if you own a computer, you cannot sing the Blues. You'd best destroy it. Fire, a spilled bottle of Mad Dog, or shotgun. Maybe your big ass woman just done sit on it. I don't care

19. Hey there, you can READ! This too be a big ol' problem. Most folks singin' the Blues ain't never had much a chance for education. In the Blues. the three R's stand for Railroads, Runnin' and Rehab.

20. It gots to be dark to sing the blues, preferably after midnight. Singin' da blues at noon is forbidden.

21. If none of the above works, try one last, pathetic stab at authenticity: name your guitar. Remember, Lucille is taken.

22. Epitaph on a blues musician's tombstone: "I didn't wake up this morning"

I Thought So...

What Robert Johnson Song are you?

You are "Travelling Riverside Blues"!

Michael Winslow does Jimi Hendrix

This is both humorous and kind of unbelievable. Michael is wonderful at what he does, I wish we could get him to do some of the sound effects imitating slide guitar players.



Notes from YouTube: The opening act of the legendary Michael Winslow's hilarious performance in Michael Winslow Live at the Improv. Known universally as the sound-effects ninja guy from Police Academy, he continued to refine his noises and impersonations long after the movies disappeared from public view. He now returns with his amazing signature Jimi Hendrix impersonation along side other incredible acts later in the show including a Led Zeppelin performance and a host of other sound-effect related gags.

The Blues Brothers Movie still funny, 25 Years Later.

Here is a blues humor post from the archives, the "Blues Brothers" movie is still a very funny movie.


While not in the same vane as many of my recent post. I have been posting mostly prewar blues in SqueezeMyLemon, that is because that is where I am at right now. Those blues are the ones that shade me right now. That is how blue I am. If you understand what I trying to say.

But there is an event that is going on in the world of the blues that I want to draw your attention to. It is the up coming release of the 25th Anniversary Edition of the 1980 movie "The Blues Brothers".

I have heard some of the critics say that this movie is really not about the blues at all. I mean it does not really have any blues greats in it. But that is OK. I think that Dan Aykroyd and John Belushi both loved the music and it showed in the work that they did on Sartuday Night Live and in the original movie.

Then there is the matter of the musicians, in the movie. The band, which had among others, Steve Cropper, Matt "Guitar" Murphy, Donald "Duck" Dunn, and Lou Marini, was a real band of real musicians that played a tight, sharp, and clean set. In the movie there were musical performances by the band and guests Aretha Franklin, Ray Charles, Cab Calloway, and James Brown which are classic and priceless. Even though they are not strictly blues performances. But they reflect where the music was at when the movie was made.

A very good interview was done on Terry Gross' NPR show, Dan Aykroyd, Still Full of the 'Blues'.

On Aug 30th there will be an anniversary event. The event will feature a live Q&A discussion with director/writer John Landis and the film's star and co-writer, Dan Aykroyd (via satellite from Toronto), followed by a first time screening of the film in high definition and cinema surround sound. The entire program will be presented live via satellite beginning at 6:30 p.m. PT / 9:30 p.m. ET to 83 movie theatres from coast to coast.

There are many highlight in the movie that still make me laugh to this day;

1. The seemingly endless, escalating series of car crashes. (I loved this, some don't)
2. "We've got both kinds of music: country AND western"
3. "We're on a mission from God"
4. When Ray Charles (God rest his soul) orders during the diner scene "four fried chickens and a Coke."
5. The scene with Carry Fisher, makes me laugh to this day.

Jimi Hendrix Tribute

This video makes me laugh and also is amazing.

Notes from YouTube:

The opening act of the legendary Michael Winslow's hilarious performance in Michael Winslow Live at the Improv. Known universally as the sound-effects ninja guy from Police Academy, he continued to refine his noises and impersonations long after the movies disappeared from public view. He now returns with his amazing signature Jimi Hendrix impersonation along side other incredible acts later in the show including a Led Zeppelin performance and a host of other sound-effect related gags.

Michael Winslow does Led Zeppelin's Whole Lot of Love

Michael Winslow (remember the Police Academy movies) on Senkveld med Thomas og Harald (a Norwegian talkshow) doing Led Zeppelin's "Whole Lot of Love".

Lisa Miller sings Thanksgiving Blues

From YouTube: Thanksgiving Blues by Lisa Miller a comedy/blues number.

I bet you can relate to this. One of the cool things about Thanksgiving Day is how crazy it can get. I hope this brings a smile to your face, and takes your mind off anything that might be making you blue.

Friday Blues Funny - Funny Howlin' Wolf Photo

Every time I see the below photo, I laugh. Howlin' Wolf could be so intense at times, here he is comic. The other two guys in the photo are being straight men.

Howlin' Wolf @Amazon.com

Friday Blues Funny - Devil Got My Woman

These two video clips are from the critically acclaimed movie Ghost World. One of the subplots of the movie revolves around the relationship of Seymore (played by Steve Buscemi), and a young lady named Chloe.

The first scene is one where Chloe is teasing Semore about dropping his Skip James record. For some odd reason this is funny to me. The second scene is of her listening to the record. I thought it was cool and amusing how they wove this song into this movie.

I wish more Hollywood types would go back and take a look at some of the blues music of the past and use it in todays movies.

Friday Blues Funny - B.B. King and Redd Foxx

B.B.King/ReddFoxx


Blues On The Bayou

click image for info @Amazon.com


Track Listing

1. Blues Boys Tune 3:29
2. Bad Case Of Love 5:28
3. I'll Survive 4:52
4. Mean Ole' World 4:30
5. Blues Man 5:19
6. Broken Promise 3:34
7. Darlin' What Happened 5:26
8. Shake It Up And Go 3:10
9. Blues We Like 5:08
10. Good Man Gone Bad 3:20
11. If I Lost You 4:57
12. Tell Me Baby 3:26
13. I Got Some Outside Help I Don't Need 4:37
14. Blues In G 3:28
15. If That Ain't It I Quit 3:20

B.B. King @Amazon.com

Friday Funny - Blues Brothers

I have heard some of the critics say that this movie is really not about the blues at all. I think that Dan Aykroyd and John Belushi both loved blues music and it showed in the work that they did on Sartuday Night Live and in the original movie.

Then there is the matter of the musicians, in the movie. John Lee Hooker is my favorite in the movie. The band, which had among others, Steve Cropper, Matt "Guitar" Murphy, Donald "Duck" Dunn, and Lou Marini, was a real band of real musicians that played a tight, sharp, and clean set. In the movie there were musical performances by the band and guests Aretha Franklin, Ray Charles, Cab Calloway, and James Brown which are classic and priceless. Even though they are not strictly blues performances. But they reflect where the music was at when the movie was made.

A very good interview was done on Terry Gross' NPR show, Dan Aykroyd, Still Full of the 'Blues'.

There are many highlight in the movie that still make me laugh to this day;

1. The seemingly endless, escalating series of car crashes. (I loved this, some don't)
2. "We've got both kinds of music: country AND western"
3. "We're on a mission from God"
4. When Ray Charles (God rest his soul) orders during the diner scene "four fried chickens and a Coke."
5. The scene with Carry Fisher, makes me laugh to this day.

Friday Blues Funny - Guitar Face

by Parkinsonsniper

Blues Humor @SqueezeMyLemon

Friday Blues Funny - Guitar Face

by hodgsongreg @ flickr.com

Friday Funny - Bento Box Blues Guitar

by Sakurako Kitsa

Friday Funny - SRV & Lonnie Mack - Oreo Cookie Blues

This performance by Stevie Ray Vaughan and Lonnie Mack cracks me up. My wife loves Oreo Cookies and can not live without them, that line about chocolate on your fingers and icing on your lips makes me laugh out loud. This is truly some great blues humor.

Stevie Ray Vaughan @Amazon.com

Lonnie Mack @Amazon.com

Friday Funny - Battle of the Guitar Heroes

Battle of the Guitar Heroes
Originally uploaded by MarkCann